Was looking through my pitiful LJ just now, and realized that since my oekaki was deleted (AGAIN, for the 2nd time, because I haven't updated in ages), the little One Piece scribbles I have on it is also gone. (well shit~XDD|||)

YEAH, I DIDN'T SAVE ANYTHING.

Who'd think of saving little things like that?

They're not much at all, but considering the amount I'm producing right now (which is null)...then they are something...ORZ (can't believe I miss them and I want to see them again T__T also can't remember what I've drawn)

This is...quite depressing (at least for me right now)

It took me a long time to realize the consequences of loosing the site how slow can you get Actually, rather than "Oh no my stuff is gone", the first thing I thought when I found out it's been deleted again, was: "Like hell I'm applying oekaki again" at least not until I can update often

On my real life...

I'm still at the same job and having no thoughts either than waste my time off during the days I have off...but I'll still try to draw more things--so that I can quickly forget what stupid thing I've done Q__Q (ie. not saving ones work--even if they're just drabbles)

I've applied another drawing log (?), called tegaki, it seems that this one won't go eliminating you even if you let your site rot. So...I hope this one lasts...though I haven't really figured out my way around it yet.


I have been lurking (or rather, haven't logged in on LJ for like, AGES) I really have no time and are not in the mood to catch up on my FL one by one...well, not like I'm particulary close with anyone or any community while I was more "active" on LJ in the first place...but I really hope everyone's fine.

It's been so long, I can't remember how to do an LJ cut...orz. I was going to put this useless rant under a cut. Geez, sorry people.

Seen from genuinelie

How do you value your life? Thinker You need to consider every single thought that comes into your head. Creativity and ability of interpretation are strongest sides of you; a single detail of surround gives you ideas. You don’t know exactly what you want from life and that’s what’s so confusing about it. Don’t worry: time will fix it.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

The result is actually rather true><
(and I'm still alive. lol)

(Though I doubt it myself sometimes)


Endless stuff to do at work
though I guess I should be thankful that I have one

Mostly end up working overtime, get home around 8~9pm-ish
eyes mostly too sore and body tired to do anything else either than eat, wash up, sleep D:

During weekends I don't open the computer much, either. (they tend to make my eyes sore)


But No Computer = nothing much can be done, really




Sometimes I'd think life like this sucks.


(I'm practically marrying work, bleh)


 I dislike staring at the computer screen for long hours
Also I feel that my ass and thighs are getting larger by the day...from sitting too much. T__T


*Secretly wishes that one day EVERY computer at work decides to go on strike*


*Sighs and leaves to take a shower*

*Still about RL stuff, turn aroud if you don't want to read, or skip this, and go to the crap doodle at the end of this post*
And I'm not putting this under an lj cut. :P
I don't usually do this, but I've been away for a long, long time so I guess it's allowed if I ring it in sometime? *I apologize if this bothers you when you check out your friend's list* BOWS.


I'm gradually settling down in the new working environment.
(been working late for nearly 3 months since I started)

I planned this course at the beginning of the year (already paid intuition fee and been to every class that I could),  since I thought I might not be able to find a full time for the time being. So I wanted to make up the spare time while still working part-time. But eversince I started the new work, there's hardly a time that I could go after work. I mean, the class starts at 6:40pm, and normally I finish way after that, I still need time to get there.

So, I still find myself with little time to really do the things that I like.

Plus I only have a notebook computer at home, and I've had it for like, 5~6 years? It's running kinda slow. Whenever I want to surf the net or post stuff, it requires patience. (and I have little of it) The other reason is, I've been staring at the computer screen practically everyday of the week (perhaps excluding weekends) my eyes are sore and I don't feel like using when I get home.

I know, this still can't be taken as an excuse as in not participating or going to the fandom ljs. I don't  really accept this excuse myself. I'm just busy, and tired, and bored but I can't buy comics (I would really get the mangas if only my room had more space), and I don't feel like renting them in manga stores (who knows how many people have touched it, and did what while they're reading, I can't really stand food stains on them) And I didn't have time - my notebook won't allow either -  to SEARCH AND download things. It's slow.

Sometimes I just feel there's so much I wanna do, but don't have enough time. (I know, 's a lame excuse Q__Q)

Anyway I think my job is getting better, I'm finishing my work a bit quicker now so there's more and more days when I can come home around 6 or 7 pm. I'll try.


I'll cut the crap now and post this, it's far from finished (just like a draft or something)
But I don't plan on finishing this, either. Cause I got annoyed near the end (haven't touched this for ages, my hand is apparently stiff as a rock, and well, alot of things doesn't feel right and I'm too lazy to adjust, plus the feeling's all gone, so...)

And I'm a computer idiot. (I can't get that brown ink off Zoro's face since I accidently put it there)
I try. Really. Maybe next time.

Still, some personal, fandom-unrelated stuff-


I've started work, and everything seems fine for now.

Though it's busy and actually, as I'm taking someone's place (someone who's been there for 18 years), they've wanted us to best take a month to take over, for her to teach/ hand things over to me. But we only got around a week to do so in the end. Her job includes lost of miscellanous things- alot of which couldn't be pointed out to me in advance. (I'd have to ask when I come across them)...but...


It's definitely much better than the last full-time job I had. Though what can you expect, it's a job that requires you to sit in an office, have your ass and eyes glued to the chair and screen for hours straight. 

(Of course you're allowed to stand up and take a break and such...I mean...well...if I said that I dream of a job that contains none, or not more than half of the condition mentioned above...would it sound like I'm day-dreaming? XD)


*sigh*

I'm not discontent about my current job. 

I'm thankful for such opportunity, it's a relatively steady job.



But still can't stop me from day-dreaming about a job where I can just draw all day (and not on the computer)

Maybe also walk around/ move around all day.



Sitting in front of the computer too long can be sickening. My shoulders cramp up, my eyes and ass hurts, and....he...

Anyway, when I come home, I mostly just want to have my eyes rest, ie. I wouldn't want to open the computer and go on the internet like when I had time before.


God know how much things I have to catch up...it's probably hopeless anyway.


But I'd try. 

Sometimes I see other people, or rather, their blogs or journals, seeing other people doing lost of productive things, watching them setting goals and plans and achieving them. I'd feel guilty, kind of....like, just WHAT AM I DOING NOW? 

It feels like I'm not going anywere.


It feels like I'm trapped in this thing called "earning a living" (though of course it's essential in life)...I'm trapped here and can't do much on the things I really like. 

Really, this feeling isn't too good if you dwell on it.



And I try not to. But sometimes it's difficult. Especially when you feel your eyes are about to pop out of your sockets, and then with pain, this sudden realization dawns on you- just why are you doing this? what are you doing it for?


Everytime it comes, I'd try not to think about it too much. The less I think the less I worry/ stress over it.

But anyway, still thankful for everything. Even though I might not have much time/mood to use the internet, to chat or come on lj & the fandom. I feel sorry for it. >_< 


(Random note: yesterday was my brother's birthday- I was kind of surprised to find out that he and Baba share the same birthday :)  

 I'm starting on new job tomorrow.


Also, my hand shakes more than it should these days...

And I can't help wondering if it's some mild warning/curse threatening to disable my hand since it's no longer doing what it's meant to be doing - haven't drawn anything proper for fucken AGES. *sorry for the language, that's not meant to swear, but an emphasis on things*
 

Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll have more time to do the things I wanted, but I'll try to come on lj more often. 

There's quite a lot that I want to say, but don't know where to start/not sure if I should bring it up. (since they're mostly insignificant personal musings and revolves around thoughts that's not so positive.)

Seen from _sabriel's LJ ^^